abandon

i cannot resist
that which is forbidden to me.
everything i stood for
seems to fade into the background
and something else takes over each time we meet
time stands still
and wrong is eclipsed by right
now
guilt stands aside
and need draws a curtain around reason
while fear and logic watch in wonder.
i close my eyes and nothing seems as real as this;
alive again
body and soul unite to make me whole
i went into this with eyes
opened: dove in
and let it wash over me
without hesitation
powerless to stop the flood that consumes me still.
yet when i surface,
another reality confronts me
and i am left alone
empty handed
with only a memory to sustain me,
to fight off a guilty conscience
and justify this overwhelming assault on my mind.